Raising A Happy, Unspoiled Child by Burton L. White

"A happy, unspoiled child - I want one of those" is what I thought while I pulled this book off my mother's shelves. Burton L. White started his obcservations and research in child development during the 1960s. He decided it was more interesting to learn about people than buildings; his previous career was as a civil engineer. Anyway, after 30-odd years of observing kids and parents in playgroups, in the home and at large such in supermarkets and shopping malls, White has some insights into raising kids that I found interesting.

He writes that his studies have shown that children who are a pain in the ass when they are 6 years old, were generally a pain when they were 2-3 years old, that much of our social behavior is learned by this fantastically early time. Okay, he doesn't say pain in the ass, he says "no fun at all": bossy, unable to interact with other kids, tendency to throw hissy fits and generally a trial to parents who are forced to spend much time with the little creature. White beleives most of the behaviour difficulties of the "terrible twos" can be warded off if parents understand the changing developmental needs of their baby, especialy from the ages 5 months to 22 months. For example, when your baby hits the stage that she can see and hear as well as anyone, but she can't move herself around the floor yet - gee, that could be a frustrating time. Or when she does start to crawl - should you try to baby-proof the house, or play it safe and stick her in a playpen? Basically White's idea is that if you give your baby the opportunities to satisfy her curiosity, her motor development and give her plenty of access to a caring supervising adult, she'll handle the rest.

Practical tips are combined with anecdotes on how parents can love and assist their babies without turning them into little tyrants. It's all mostly about making sure everyone in the family gets their needs approporiately met. Once stuff is established in the family, it naturally extends into bigger social circles. In a few years, I'll let you know how it all turns out.

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